The scene: We are watching V, ABC’s remake of a popular science fiction mini-series where lizard-like aliens disguised as humans visit our planet. (The remake is a full series, not a mini-series.)
Fiance: (Arbitrarily to the television) What part of “don’t trust anyone” did he not understand!?
Me: If aliens came to our planet, would you trust me?
Fiance: No. You couldn’t trust anyone.
Me: But what if I was one of the nice aliens who just wanted to be peaceful and marry a human?
Fiance: How would I know that? In that situation, you really wouldn’t be able to trust anyone.
Me: But that would mean that I am a lizard now.
Fiance: Are you saying you are a lizard?
Me: No, but in the hypothetical lizards-take-over-the-world-future, I want you to be able to trust me.
Fiance: Well, I don’t think I would trust you. But it probably wouldn’t matter because we aren’t important enough that we would have the information that the aliens are dangerous, so maybe I would.
(Fiance wanders into the kitchen. Clearly he is not as phased in this potential wrinkle to our future marriage as I am…)
Me: (Shouting into the kitchen) Maybe we should include something about the lizard invasion in our vows, that way you will trust me….
Fiance: Sticks his face back into the living room and rolls his eyes.
Me: What? I’m serious.