Dear Showtime (and Diablo Cody),
First off, I want to say that I’m a fan of the crazy town character(s), Tara in United States of Tara on Showtime.
We subscribe to Showtime. Sure, I’d rather get HBO, but it is what it is. (Sorry, just being honest.)
DC, I love your quirky writing in Juno and your bare-all openness (pun intended) in Candy Girl.
But here’s the deal. I need you to do a leeetle bit more research on living in Overland Park, KS for United States of Tara.
I know Overland Park, KS wasn’t your first pick for Tara and her family, but all the same, what’s done is done, so I want to help you do it right.
Oh, I appreciate your effort. I really do. Sticking a 435 sign on a divided highway was a nice nod to KC’s little beltway, but [whispers] it doesn’t really look like that at all.
Ok, ok. Filming logistics. I get it. You film it in LA so landmarks, landscaping and even houses are going to look and feel way more west coast than midwest.
But at least get the dialogue right. “I’m going down to Kansas City, Mo.” is not something a teenager from Overland Park would ever say. First off, we rarely reference state lines. We’re more county folks. So, if you were going to reference Kansas City, KS, you’d probably say Wyandotte County. And truth be told, most teens from Overland Park would say “the Dot.”
Otherwise, us Johnson County natives are more likely to reference regions of the city or streets. So geographic locaters would be more like “the West Bottoms,” “midtown,” “the Plaza,” “Troost,” “P&L District,” or just “downtown.”
And the other thing. Let’s talk about weather. Specifically tornadoes.
I wasn’t surprised to see you used our typical spring weather pattern as a plot device in the latest episode. But I want to clue you in on a few things about weather in Kansas City.
First off, tornadoes are not like hurricanes. You do not wake up to news that a “tornado is coming.” Weather tends to be unpredictable here, so we start with severe weather advisories. Katie Horner gets us pretty worked up about how the day might pan out. Then, we move into severe thunderstorm warnings or flash flood warnings with more and more Katie Horner interuptions to tell us when to expect the worst, and that by goodness, it’s going to be the storm of the century! Then she starts tacking on tornado watches for good measure before she escalates into full on “get your helmet on and run to your basement” mode. That last part is pretty sudden. And usually it’s only small pockets of the metro, and rarely Overland Park. But that’s ok – good rookie mistake for you, DC.
So, I have a proposed solution for you. You could, of course, bring me on as an advisor to your writing team. But, maybe the budget is tight over there at Showtime, since HBO is getting ready to launch another season of True Blood and all the Twilight fans are probably switching their subscriptions.
How about you come to Kansas City and hang out with me for a few days, you know, for research? We have a guest bedroom, and I’d even change the sheets and put up the ironing board for you. We could hang out in KC, grab a few cocktails in Westport, hit up some local boutiques for some cool digs and even take a pole dancing class together. (I’d love to learn some of your moves!)
Then maybe you could tweet about how awesome Queen of Quirky is (and more specifically her blog.) But that wouldn’t be mandatory or anything. Just a suggestion.
So let me know what you think. I’m pretty open this summer for a visit. It gets kind of hot and steamy in Kansas City (that’s another freebie tip for your show, you know) in the summer, but we could make it work.
Hope to see you soon!
Queen of Quirky
Editor’s note: Oops. Thanks to my readers for pointing out that DC did not write Whip It. In my excitement to get my new BFF to come visit me in Kansas City, I forgot to look that one up. Mistakes happen sometimes on QoQ, although this one was not nearly as humorous as when I mispelled an aeresol can as an arousel can.