My empty bag of tricks

Just call me Mary Poppins.

That’s what I said as I left work yesterday to go spend a few hours watching the most adorable nephew ever.

Mary Poppins is awesome. She sings. She dances. She has a bag of tricks.

Queen of Quirky can sing and dance. And she has a giant purse. It seemed like a plausible comparison.

And oh we were having a Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious time. Hanging out in our boopoo or Bumbo or whatever it’s called.(which according to my brother rings in at a whopping $60…wow, that’s like a nice dinner out and TWO beers. )

And then in our chair with all the doodads to spin and bonk.

It’s fun to be five months.

It’s fun to be an aunt.

And don’t you know I was the funniest aunt ever?!

And then, something really bad happened.

The bottom lip.

Oh no. Not the lip, I said. Please, please, please…I don’t want to see the lip, Eli. Aunt Stephanie is fun!

Look, I can dance. Do do do do do.

I can make funny noises! Blllllllllllllllllllllllrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Ok, ok, ok. Please stop crying. Tell you what, I’ll make you a yummy cake on your first birthday. No go? You can even smash your hand in it. Don’t you know how much fun it is to smash your first cake?  I know you haven’t tasted cake yet, and I’m not even sure I know how to bake a cake. But we can try. Come on, Eli. Let’s try together!

You know what else? We can go to the ZOO! Yup, we’re going to the zoo, zoo, zoo. How about you, you, you. Ok, ok, no zoo, no zoo.

Mary Poppins needed some new tricks.

Ok, how about I take you driving when you turn sixteen.  I won’t even flinch when you almost forget to stop at the stop sign. Alright. I see. You can’t see the value in that promise yet. 

Time to throw in the big one. It’s like the spoon full of sugar on steroids.

I will buy you your first beer when you turn 21. No?

Notice I did not promise him any cousins to play with in a few years…at that point, it seemed a bit extreme.


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5 responses to “My empty bag of tricks

  1. momromp

    I love this post. You sound exactly like I did when my daughter was a little baby. Very cute kid, by the way.

  2. Happens to all of us! Sometimes I just turn the music way up!!

  3. My friend Jenny

    Music. I’m telling you, get him the Musical Wizard of Oz book you got Thomas when he was little. It transfixes them. And you can finally learn all the RIGHT words to all the Wizard of Oz songs, you’ve been singing all your life. I love that movie. Even today, if Thomas and I come across it on TV, we have an unspoken rule we MUST watch it until at least one song comes on and listen to the song, before we change channel.

  4. Hahaha! Love it. I need to get on convincing my brother to have a baby for me to learn on. 😉

  5. If it makes you feel better, I was eleven and thirteen when my sister and brother were born (built in babysitter…yay…) and don’t tell my mother but I totally drugged my sister to get her to stop crying. I only did it like three times. I used baby Tylenol…

    I kinda feel guilty now. In my defense I was a rotten teenager at the time…

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