Queen of Quirky’s Secret

Dear Victoria,

Do you mind if I call you Vickie? Ok, cool. And do you like how I made your name pink? That only took me five minutes to figure out how to do. (I was over-thinking HTML code.) But it was totally worth it because I know it’s your favorite color.

I just wanted to send you a little note to apologize for missing your Fashion Show last night. For what it’s worth, I watched last year’s show and even received a lovely little something as a Christmas gift last year. I do love it.

But, I wasn’t wearing it last night when I didn’t watch your show.

See, I went out for a drink with two girlfriends. And then I came home and made this really big refried black bean burrito. (With extra  hot sauce.  Like you, I can be a little saucy sometimes.)

Bean burritos are quite filling, aren’t they?

And of course, I really wanted to enjoy my pear crisp after that. So I went upstairs and changed out of my dress and into my comfy p.j.’s. I know you can appreciate those because you sell several varieties.

Then, I helped myself to a great big helping of crisp with a large dollop of whipped cream on top. mmmmmm….

I was passing through the channels and I saw your show begin, but I didn’t turn it on.

I hope you can forgive me for not jumping to watch your scantily clad sexy supermodels. I’m sure they were all beautiful.

It’s just that I really didn’t want to out shine them. I know my fiance would have been so transfixed with me over them that it would have been quite the embarrassment to you, Vickie.

I mean, after all, I had on my most stretched-out waffle long-sleeved p.j. shirt and my Scottie dog stretch flannel bottoms.  And we all know, nothing is more attractive than watching your future wife chow down on a burrito oozing with mushy black beans and then following that up with an inhalation of pear crisp.

I really feel like I did you a favor, not turning on your show. I like to do favors for my friends, Vickie, don’t you?

Then, we cuddled. There is NOTHING a man likes more than cuddling, don’t you think? And I fell asleep on the couch next to him.

Isn’t that sweet? We do that sometimes.

A few hours later, I woke up with a big snore and it seemed like my left cheek was glued to the pillow. Oopsie. Someone had drooled a big fat loogie all over herself.

I’m so pretty when I wake up. It’s a wonder my fiance can ever turn his eyes away from me.

So, now you know why I didn’t watch your show. Thanks for being so sweet about it. I’ll be sure to stop by for that semi-annual sale after Christmas. (Things are a little tight with the Wedding and all…)

Oh, and just so you know… I did DVR it for my fiance to watch when I’m not around to distract him.





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2 responses to “Queen of Quirky’s Secret

  1. I think my co-worker sitting next to me thinks I’m looney for snickering so hard a this!! Love it.

  2. HA! You and your pal Vickie have a little scuffle recently? She is JUST jealous! Those jammies are rockin’. I bet you start your own line soon.


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