Do you mind if I call you Vickie? Ok, cool. And do you like how I made your name pink? That only took me five minutes to figure out how to do. (I was over-thinking HTML code.) But it was totally worth it because I know it’s your favorite color.
I just wanted to send you a little note to apologize for missing your Fashion Show last night. For what it’s worth, I watched last year’s show and even received a lovely little something as a Christmas gift last year. I do love it.
But, I wasn’t wearing it last night when I didn’t watch your show.
See, I went out for a drink with two girlfriends. And then I came home and made this really big refried black bean burrito. (With extra hot sauce. Like you, I can be a little saucy sometimes.)
Bean burritos are quite filling, aren’t they?
And of course, I really wanted to enjoy my pear crisp after that. So I went upstairs and changed out of my dress and into my comfy p.j.’s. I know you can appreciate those because you sell several varieties.
Then, I helped myself to a great big helping of crisp with a large dollop of whipped cream on top. mmmmmm….
I was passing through the channels and I saw your show begin, but I didn’t turn it on.
I hope you can forgive me for not jumping to watch your scantily clad sexy supermodels. I’m sure they were all beautiful.
It’s just that I really didn’t want to out shine them. I know my fiance would have been so transfixed with me over them that it would have been quite the embarrassment to you, Vickie.
I mean, after all, I had on my most stretched-out waffle long-sleeved p.j. shirt and my Scottie dog stretch flannel bottoms. And we all know, nothing is more attractive than watching your future wife chow down on a burrito oozing with mushy black beans and then following that up with an inhalation of pear crisp.
I really feel like I did you a favor, not turning on your show. I like to do favors for my friends, Vickie, don’t you?
Then, we cuddled. There is NOTHING a man likes more than cuddling, don’t you think? And I fell asleep on the couch next to him.
Isn’t that sweet? We do that sometimes.
A few hours later, I woke up with a big snore and it seemed like my left cheek was glued to the pillow. Oopsie. Someone had drooled a big fat loogie all over herself.
I’m so pretty when I wake up. It’s a wonder my fiance can ever turn his eyes away from me.
So, now you know why I didn’t watch your show. Thanks for being so sweet about it. I’ll be sure to stop by for that semi-annual sale after Christmas. (Things are a little tight with the Wedding and all…)
Oh, and just so you know… I did DVR it for my fiance to watch when I’m not around to distract him.