The ultimate. And I mean ultimate. PMS aid.

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[Photo courtesy SharffenBerger.com]

There were a few goodies in the Blogher Food bag. A lot of them went into the food bank donation tub at the conference. But I’m really, really glad I kept this one.

I’m going to preface this post with two things – 1. The chocolate bar I’m about to wax on about was a free  sponsor gift at Blogher Food, however no one at Sharffen Berger asked me to write about this gift. I do so out of my own newfound personal passion for this product. 2. I’m not crazy about chocolate.

In fact, when Sharffen Berger sponsored a mid-morning break and handed out lovely bags full of even more of their product, I declined the bag. No sense in wasting their product.

But there are about two days in every month when I suddenly need to eat something sweet. Usually I send the fiance down to Quick Trip to pick up a small pint of vanilla ice cream. The damage is done. No one gets hurt. It’s all good.

But yesterday, when I got home at 5:30, he asked,  “I’m going to run down to QT. Do you need anything?”

Stupid, stupid me said “no, I’m fine.”

Because at 5:30, I couldn’t possibly imagine anything in the world I could want from a convenience store.

By 8:30, I changed my tune.

OhmygodIneedsomethingsweetnow.

But it was chilly out, and he had already done the dishes, so there was just no way I could ask him to go out again. Especially because he offered to get me something so nicely when I first arrived home.

(Also, I knew if I even so much as murmured that I wanted ice cream, he would have done it, and I just don’t want to abuse my power that way.) Mwah ha ha.

Oh what do I have? I wondered.

I rummaged through my kitchen and found a stack of items and papers from Blogher Food.

What do we have here? I picked up the chocolate bar.

I took it back to the living room where I was watching Cougar Town, in eager anticipation for Top Chef (which turned out to be a reunion show to stall us out until next week — boo.)

I bit into a triangle from the bar…hmmm good milk chocolate. Nice and creamy but not overly sweet. Good crunch and texture with the almonds.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Then suddenly, a hint of salt? Yes, salt. Sea salt, my favorite of all the salties.

Oh heavens to Betsy, this was a dream come true, I thought as I snapped off another triangle wedge and watched Courteney Cox dive into a pool wearing a bikini to show off her perfect, well-toned body.

I pulled my Gap Body red Scottie Dog  elastic-band flannel PJ pants up over my bloated belly with a snap. I hate her.

Oh, who friggin cares?!

Melty bite. Crunch. Salty finish.

The fiance (who would probably like you to know was working on the computer and only watches Cougar Town with me because it comes after two of our favorite Wednesday night ABC comedies – The Middle and Modern Family, and there is really no use finding something to fill a half hour time slot before Top Chef) was slightly amused at how much I was enjoying this chocolate.

And maybe a little jealous at how much satisfaction it was giving me in that moment…

Babe. I said, with a mouthful of chocolate. This is really good.

I took a swallow of the glass of Malbec I was drinking.

Oh gawd….

So good.

Truth be told, I didn’t even eat half the bar because I just needed a few tastes. (And why not save more for later?!)

But ladies.

I don’t care if you are a chocolate lover or not. Please take my word that having a bar of this in your pantry will turn your next PMS induced hormonal mountain slide into a gorgeous ski run in the Alps. You’ll want to get right back on that chair lift and do it all over again.

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “The ultimate. And I mean ultimate. PMS aid.

  1. This sounds like good medicine. I hope I don’t need a prescription for it in Florida. Want!!

    • Maybe I should have left you with a tidal wave of hormones into a scuba diving adventure analogy instead of the skiing one….I need to get better at regional appreciation. 😉

  2. Jay

    I have a bar of LeBelge Fleur De Sel
    in my drawer here at work………….
    and you dont need pms to love it!

  3. Totally agree- I’ve become genuinely addicted to the stuff. I’ve picked up two additional bars since September…yipes!

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  5. janer

    Now here’s the difference between us.

    There would be nothing — I repeat, NOTHING — left of that bar if ’twere I who had slid languorously into into “Melty bite. Crunch. Salty finish.” Lost to the world ’til it’s all gone.

    And then the painful re-emergence.

    more! more!

  6. T

    There is a chocolate boutique close to my house. Yep, a boutique. And they have so many different flavors to sample.

    Get this.

    Chocolate with … bacon bits in it.

    Sounds weird, I know but yeah, that same saltiness that you described.

    Ya just never know, chocolate is good on EVERYTHING.

  7. Such a funny post. I hear ya — there are days I’d walk 10 miles for a bite of chocolate!

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