Monday Night Up in Flames

This week DD Girl and Queen of Quirky’s cookin’ & wine night had to be switched to Monday night. (Usually Tuesday nights) That was OK by me because two weeks ago, I accidentally got DD Girl (an anti-reality T.V. person by nature) hooked on The Bachelorette. hee hee.

Since it was the season finale of said guilty pleasure, it was certainly a great night to tune in. Or it should have been.

On the menu: Prosciutto wrapped chicken stuffed with sun-dried tomatoes, fresh basil, garlic and mozzarella, lemon basil rice and snow peas.  I found this recipe in my Pampered Chef 29-Minutes to Dinner Volume II cookbook.

Really, it should have been in the 2 hours and 9 minutes to dinner book.

Since I am on a tight budget after Blogher, I decided to use some chicken I had in the freezer. I figured it would be pretty easy to thaw out using my defrost setting on the microwave. I did not think it would take 20 minutes to do that.

THEN, I had to cut off the bits of chicken on the end that had gotten  cooked in the microwave instead of thawed. It’s a fine line when thawing things in the microwave, let me tell you.

After that, I pounded out my chicken using my rolling pin because I don’t have a pounder thingy. DD Girl was smart enough to suggest I use some foil (didn’t have wax paper) between the chicken and pin.

Have I mentioned how hungry I was at this point? (We didnt’ get started until after 7)

I botched the first one, and put the prosciutto inside the chicken instead of wrapping it, hence the whole prosciutto wrapped chicken. Then, I realized I had no idea how I was even supposed to be cooking the chicken. I checked the recipe and realized I should have preheated my oven to 450. Yikes.

I had the foresight to start the rice during the thawing process, but I miscalculated the ratio of liquid to rice (I used bouillon in lieu of chicken broth) so at this point, I tasted it and it was very al dente. So I added some more water.

I returned to trimming, pounding, stuffing and wrapping my breasts (shut up). At last, they were all ready to go in the oven.

I threw them in and decided my life would be a lot less stressful if I washed up the dishes before sitting down to enjoy the show. As I was putting the cutting board in the dishwasher, I turned and thought maybe the light was on in the oven.

It seemed really bright in there.

No, that’s not the light, that’s a fire.

I turned to DD Girl and said, “um, my oven is on fire.”  She took a long sip of wine and said, where’s the extinguisher?

Um, I don’t have one?

So my oven was on fire, but there was no freaking way I was going to let the  deliscious chicken go up in flames.

Not the chicken! I’m going in, I said. (I turned off the oven)

I quickly opened the door and grabbed the baking pan, quickly closing the oven door, as DD Girl ran to open up the door to my back patio.

Then we stood there and watched the fire with our glasses of wine.

Do you think it will go out?, I asked.

Probably, she said.

What about the chicken, I asked.

We could order a pizza, she said.

Hell no!

While we waited for the flame to go out, DD Girl updated her Facebook status:

Cooking lesson #1: do not set oven on fire. lesson #2 after fire starts, turn oven off.  Hmmm…well that was fun.

Once the flame was out, I could see that the culprit was some drippy bits that had fallen to the bottom of my oven. DD Girl and I found a wooden spoon which I used to scrape out the charred remains as she held her breath hoping I didn’t burn the bajeezers out of myself. 

The charred remains fell all over the floor and wouldn’t you know, we were out of paper towels, so DD Girl suggested picking them up with toilet paper. Since I am down to my last roll, I took the liberty of grabbing some from Roomie.

FINALLY, we got the chicken back in the fire-free oven. Meanwhile, I tended to the poor rice, which was a little mush (DD Girls says it was fine.), but by then I was so hungry, I didn’t care. 20 minutes later, we finally had a meal and could sit down and enjoy the show.


 (With Gertie.)

But then, as if the evening hadn’t been dramatic enough, the stupid sound went out just as something big was happening. DD Girl put her techy skills to work and tried to get my closed captioning to work, but alas, we were left on a huge hook.

I later learned that all of Kansas City lost sound on our ABC affiliate for about 15 minutes.

And that is how our Monday night went up in flames. (But the wine was tasty.)


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4 responses to “Monday Night Up in Flames

  1. janer

    That was hilarious. So glad you’re both (and the oven!) okay.

    Hi, DD Girl!!

    bon appetit …

  2. Pingback: Bourbon, wine, cream, mushrooms & pork – need I say more? « Queen of Quirky

  3. Pingback: 2009: The year of discovering my inner culinary goddess « Queen of Quirky

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