Or, you try out for Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and #fail.
That’s right kids. The fiance and I drug ourselves out of bed this morning to live the dream.
That is if the dream is being squished between 300 people, taking a scan-tron quiz and witnessing some of the worst impressions known to man – all before 7 a.m.
Why would we do this to ourselves? Well, we heard they were looking for engaged couples for Wedding Week in November, and well, it seemed like fun.
We arrived at the casino location of try-outs to see that people just don’t follow the rules very well. It SAID you weren’t supposed to line up prior to 6 a.m., but reports were people lined up as early as 4 a.m.
Also, casinos at 6 a.m. in Kansas City? Not so cool.
Then we followed the cattle coral into the big auditorium where we were “entertained” by a gal from NYC throwing t-shirts at people who could stand up and do impressions of people, characters or (yikes) animals. It was painful to watch. (Dude. Your Sponge Bob Square Pants little diddy? I’d drop it.)
45 minutes later, we did not make the cut. It was a bummer too, because I was wearing this cute little strawberry dress and red cardigan. We so would have gotten in on fashion, had the producers just taken the time to meet us.
Next time I’m trying out for something that doesn’t require a scan-tron test.
A real conversation with the fiance’s mom:
FM: What kind of cake do you guys want? (she is making it.)
F: Makes a face of indifference. (He isn’t big on cake.) I probably won’t eat any.
Me: Yeah, all you care about is the cake smoosh. I know your type. You are such a smoosher.
FM: Woah. No you won’t! I think it is totally awful and aggressive when people do that. I won’t make your cake if you are going to smoosh it in her face. If you want to smoosh it all over her body later, then that’s fine but promise me you won’t smoosh it in her face.
Me: Jaw on the table. Covering my mouth. I can’t believe she just said that!
F: Shrugs. He knows his family.
Now I know what you are saying. (Especially if you’ve met Gertie)
What did Gertie do to deserve this post?
We’ll get to that.
First, have you ever had a day when you start off on top of the world, then the stress builds, and just when you think you may be able to conquer stress event #1, stress event #2 hits you like a thousand tons of rocks? Well if not, you’ve clearly never tried to plan a wedding on a budget. Or heck, a wedding at all.
So, after that whole drama (still pending, but pushed off to the side now. Stay tuned to Quirky Wedding for updates and details) the fiance and I thought we should get our minds off it and go grab a drink and something to eat.
We waited for the rain to die off.
And on the way out of the fiance’s uber steep driveway which has concrete barriers along the side, his car scraped the side and his lower fender partially fell off and was dragging on the street.
When he went inside to get his toolkit to try to remove it, he heard Gertie was barking. (Something she rarely does.) It was a steady woof. woof. woof. Logically, he figured she had to go out. Nope. Because I took her out and brought her back in and she was still barking when he returned to put back the tool kit. Apparently, it was from the stress of being left alone with the storms. (She had exhibited signs of stress earlier in the evening) There was no way we could leave her in that state, considering G-man was home and, well that’s plain maddening.
So here I am drinking a glass of wine and eating a bowl of ramen noodles.
It is totally the dog’s fault. All of it.
- Ah, Engagment bliss.
I'm fumbling through a toast I DID NOT prepare for. Later, I thought of about 1,000 ways I could have been funnier, more interesting and more heartfelt. Drat.
Someone else's toast was funnier than mine.
When I was at Molly’s engagement/couples’ wedding shower party (we never could decide exactly what we were doing), and I started talking about my blog and a dude turns around and says, “Do you know the blogger Erin in the Real World?”
It’s such a small world. Turns out, dude is one of her brothers and is friends with Molly from waaaaaaaaay back.
Overall, it was an awesome party. Molly’s brother returned her old (huge!) poster of Bruce Springstein’s butt. Apparently, it circulated through Molly’s family when different sibblings went to college. I think Molly was more excited about Springstein’s butt than she was about the awesome barware and kitchen stuff she got from friends. Her fiance looked a little horrified at the large jean adorned cheeks that would more likely be living somewhere in their new home.
Sadly, Kristin did not live up to her infamous drunken toast she gave at Molly and her twin’s 30th birthday party a few years ago. We were all really hoping to hear volume II of “I loooove these girls.”
Well, there’s always the wedding…
If you look up will power in the dictionary after today it will read:
The morning that a raging PMSing Queen of Quirky walked by a pyrex full of these that was screaming at her: “Dig your ring adorned little hand right into me. I won’t mind.” But yet, she left said pyrex alone for Roomie to take to a work picnic.
Sometimes I hate being good.
Isn’t it nice to stay home sometimes? Tonight the fiance is gaming with friends, so it’s just me and the Gertster. Speaking of Gertie, yesterday morning we had a loud thunderstorm here in Kansas City. Gertie decided it would be safest in the closet. I could not get her out. It was pathetic.
This is probably the quietest night I’ll have in a while. This weekend will be bussssy. Roomie is having a birthday blowout Friday and then on Saturday, we are throwing Molly a couples wedding shower. Tonight the fiance looked at me and said, “can we do nothing on Sunday?”