Last Saturday I witnessed something very disturbing in nature.
I watched a squirrel scurry out into the middle of the road where another squirrel was laying. Quite deadly, in fact. But recently dead. None of this half-deteriorated carnage that you often see when it comes to dead squirrels.
I slammed on my brakes. (Because, yes, I’m one of those drivers who slams on her breaks anytime a small animal crosses the road in front of her.)
What I saw next has haunted me all week: Live squirrel picked up dead squirrel and carried him off the road into the grassy area.
Aaaauuuuughhhhh! (Followed by a <beep> <beep>from behind telling me that the car behind me had better things to do than watch this squirrel reality show play out.)
At first I thought, well that is sad and kind of sweet? Maybe it was his brother or buddy or <sniff> mom (Bambi flashbacks. Oh dear.)
But then a more horrific thought occurred to me.
Maybe he is going to eat it.
Are squirrels cannibals? Do they typically take their dead brethren home for dinner? (In this case, probably brunch.) Has the nut economy sunk that low?
I still don’t have the answers to these life altering questions. But I’ve decided to embrace the thought that this squirrel was a little soldier. His motto: Leave no squirrel behind.
And that, dear readers, is the message I leave you with as you go off into this wild wilderness of a weekend.
Whether it’s your obnoxious child in a grocery store, your drunken friend at a party, your spouse who turns every weekend home improvement project into a home crime scene or your mother-in-law who thinks her nose belongs in your business, don’t abandon your fellow humans. Stick up for your peeps. Return to catch them when they fall down.
And above all else, take a moment to enjoy life this weekend. Just don’t slam on your brakes in the middle of a busy road when you do.
This public service announcement brought to you by Queen of Quirky and one weird little squirrel.