Science validates the divorce wasn’t my fault


Some scientific validation.

I was not meant to be divorced. It just wasn’t in my biological cards. It had to be the ex-husband who drug us down to the point of cancelling our marriage.

What the heezy?

The heezy is scientists found that children who smile big toothy smiles are  five times less likely to get divorced.

smileyOh thank God. For once my stupid grin – the one that choir directors and Sunday school teachers loved so because it “looks so nice to smile” when you are standing on metal risers singing off-key renditions of piano accompanied Christmas carols – has a purpose. For years, I couldn’t stop smiling. Grin grin grin grin grin.

It was probably almost embarrasing to my parents to see me on stage with a smile so large and in charge. People had to wonder what was it about being on stage that made me so. smiley. Don’t her parents let her smile at home? She can’t possibly love this music that much. Well, maybe she just loves Jesus.

And it wasn’t just on stage. I had a reputation in Jr. High for being the queen of giggles. For Pete’s sake. I peed my pants in seventh grade – TWICE – because I was laughing so hard. That has to be worth at least ten years of solid marriage right there. And just so you know, the air freshenerfound in a church bathroom does not mask the smell of urine on cordoroy pants. I’m just saying…

I’m going to chalk up the whole mess of divorce to the ole frowny face child known as my ex-husband. I think I’ve seen maybe one picture of him smiling as a child. Heck…he doesn’t even smile in pictures as a grown up.

Yup. Me and my smile represent the perfection of a long, rocking chairs on the porch-style marriage.

Man I love science.

It’s so fabulous to be able to simplify the complexities of divorce with one word — smile!



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2 responses to “Science validates the divorce wasn’t my fault

  1. aande

    Seriously, how cute are you in these pictures?!?!?

  2. meg

    ok, I’m really late on commenting about this but I love this post. It was awesome and i think true!

    I was always a smiley kid and my ex husband was not such a smiley kid at all. He still isn’t.

    its not my fault!(well I knew that anyway)

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