That’s what I get for trying to be a good dog mom

It’s no secret that Gertie likes to go play at Lily’s house


Where she is spoiled rotten. Then she comes home and gives me attitude because like. it’s so. totally. boring here, mom.

What? An endless basket of toys, a kong filled with treats, two couches I can lay all over and long runs with mommy? That’s all you got? Pishaw.

Because over there it’s all rawhides, treats and endless romps in the backyard with Lily. And well, a massive backyard isn’t enough to satisify MY Gertie, who has now learned to jump the fence in order to stroll around the neighborhood.

Last week, Gertie played for two days because the weather was so nice and I thought it was good for her. One day, the boyfriend’s mom received a call from her neighbor, “I think your dog is over here.” The boyfriend’s mom stepped outside and yelled, “Gertie!” Low and behold Little Miss Thang came trotting back into the yard.

But on Saturday, I decided it was time to remind Gertie how like. totally awesome her mom is. Starting with taking her to lunch at Chipotle (lunch for me, not for her — very important disclaimer in light of events that were to transpire.) where we sat outside and she met a very delightful two-year-old child who pet and kissed her.

Then, I thought it would be great fun to go to the dog park. I even stopped to pick up a ball launching device, knowing how much Miss Thang loves to fetch balls, and her propensity toward the slimiest, nastiest balls in the park.

Upon arriving at the dog park, I was  thinking it’s pretty sweet how close she is staying to my side. Awww…she does know I’m her mom!

Then, I tried launching the tennis ball.

Nope. Not going to have any of that.

(The ball was very kindly returned to me by a Great Dane.)

Ok, so we aren’t interested in the ball today. Ok, well, we can still have fun — Go run, Gertie! Do doggie things! Sniff someone! Come on! Something?!

Finally, she started trotting around. Mainly to go sit at people’s feet for petting and belly rubs.

Then I saw it, the moment of  free running fun as she took off in a four-legged gallop. Hoorah! This trip wasn’t a waste afterall. I am the coolest doggie mom she’s ever known…

Then, with horror I realized that what I thought was a moment of doggie play, was more a moment of “gotta go!”

Now there is nothing wrong with a dog doing her business at the dog park. They make little blue bags and plenty of trash cans for such occasion. But when your dog has massive diarrhea that lasts for at least four minutes of squatting and moving around within a 6 foot radius, that is NOT cool.

Suddenly, I was imagining all eyes (both human and canine) were on me. Armed with a blue bag on each hand, I painstakingly tried to scoop the evidence off the grass. Which was not an easy task. I also needed about four more blue bag covered hands.

People were staring at me like their dog had never had an upset stomach (in this case, probably caused by too much rawhide consumption.) Gertie moved on, leaving me to my clean-up efforts. And gave me a look like, “See. this is why I was not in a playful mood.”

I took my dog and my new $10 ball launcher home. To the boring apartment where we layed on the boring couch.


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