I’m telling you, they are falling out of the sky.
I’m surrounded by them. It’s like my friend, J said the other day, “Babies are to 30 as weddings were to 25.” I kind of agree.
- Two of the work girls are pregnant
- One of them is due REALLY soon
- The other one is having her second baby
- Another person who is very close to me is also pregnant
To top it off, now that I’m going to Blogher,I’m starting to read a lot more “mommy blogs.” If you haven’t gotten the memo, there’s like a gagillion moms who blog out there and they are this huge viral marketing/word-of-mouth marketing/public relations/product reviewing machine — talking about everything from nursing bras to (ahem) intimacy enhancers. Quite candidly, I might add.
There are single moms and working moms and nursing moms and stay-at-home moms and funny moms and crafty moms and cooking moms and probably even MILF’s but I haven’t found any specific blogs for that yet…
(There was a time when I just read running blogs. What happened to that? Oh yeah, I “stopped” running. That’ll do it.)
These new blog reads are in addition to the mommy/parenting blogs I was already reading:
And this one.
How did I get sucked into this again?
Then just minutes ago Workgirl #2’s first baby dropped by with her husband for an impromptu office visit. She is almost 3 and is all curly haired cuteness, not to mention a magnet for the Aflac toy duck in Workgirl #2’s office. (Yes, THAT duck. And boy don’t you know her husband was thrilled when darling daughter left that duck behind as a special toy for Mommy’s office.)
She was so adorable, even with that stupid duck, that I just wanted to grab her up and cuddle her. I became this weird, creepy co-worker, awkwardly walking behind her husband and daughter, as they toured the office, so proud that this cute little girl came to vist us her.
What is WRONG with me?!
I think I’m a glutton for punishment, really. I do not need a child.
Observe the following way more important facts:
- The boyfriend can attest to the fact that at least 4 times a day, I will lose my phone in my purse. Oh yes, I know it’s in there, but I can’t find it because my purse is too flipping big. And I’m a spaz. So I make him call me so I can look for the phone to light up. I’m kind of thinking it would be a bad thing if I lost a baby in my purse.
- Even more often than I lose my phone (in my purse), I misplace my keys. This event requires everyone to stop what they are doing RIGHT NOW and participate in Stephanie’s Key-Finding Scavenger Hunt. Oh yeah, and half the time, the keys are in my purse, hanging out with my phone. Imagine if I had bottles and binkies and diapers to manage. It would be a disaster.
- This is my typical schedule: 6:45 a.m. wake up, 8 a.m. go to work, noon lunch, 5:30 p.m. happy hour, 8 p.m. dinner and wine, 11-11:30 sleepy time. Find me a mom with this easy of a schedule. I double dog dare you. You will, however, probably get knocked out for suggesting it is even a possibility.
- I just took Gertie to get her annual vaccinations — oh about six months later than I should have. (I’ve been busy, ok? And it’s not like I have a lot of rabid animals running around my apartment.) You probably shouldn’t do that with a kiddo, huh?
- I’m a HUGE hypocondriac. Every day, I can find something on Web M.D. that I am certain I have come down with. Polyps – check. Cancer-check, Brain tumor- check. I don’t know if I could oversee both my list of disseases and my child’s.
- I’m out of space for additional items in my bedroom and I don’t think Roomie has any room left either, although I haven’t broached the subject with her…
- My car always has a bunch of junk in it. (ha ha, I have junk in my trunk.) No room for a car seat. (Although, I did find out by default last weekend that my child locks work just fine. And by default I mean, when I got locked in because I gave up the passenger seat to G-Man and the boyfriend was driving.)
- Speaking of driving, I’m a horrible driver. I would never put a kid in the car with me. That would be problematic.
- And, I have the dreadful feeling that Gertie would LOVE diapers. I’m just saying…