Babies, babies everywhere

I’m telling you, they are falling out of the sky.

I’m surrounded by them. It’s like my friend, J said the other day, “Babies are to 30 as weddings were to 25.” I kind of agree.

The facts:

  • Two of the work girls are pregnant
  • One of them is due REALLY soon
  • The other one is having her second baby
  • Another person who is very close to me is also pregnant 

To top it off, now that I’m going to Blogher,I’m starting to read a lot more “mommy blogs.” If you haven’t gotten the memo, there’s like a gagillion moms who blog out there and they are  this huge viral marketing/word-of-mouth marketing/public relations/product reviewing machine — talking about everything from nursing bras to (ahem) intimacy enhancers. Quite candidly, I might add.

There are single moms and working moms and nursing moms and stay-at-home moms and funny moms and crafty moms and cooking moms and probably even MILF’s but I haven’t found any specific blogs for that yet…

 (There was  a time when I just read running blogs. What happened to that? Oh yeah, I “stopped” running. That’ll do it.)

These new blog reads are in addition to the  mommy/parenting  blogs I was already reading:

Theirs & theirs

Hers

This one

And this one.

How did I get sucked into this again?

Then just minutes ago Workgirl #2’s first baby dropped by with her husband for an impromptu office visit. She is almost 3 and is all curly haired cuteness, not to mention a magnet for the Aflac toy duck in Workgirl #2’s office. (Yes, THAT duck. And boy don’t you know her husband was thrilled  when darling daughter left that duck behind as a special toy for Mommy’s office.)

She was so adorable, even with that stupid duck, that I just wanted to grab her up and cuddle her. I became this weird, creepy co-worker, awkwardly walking behind her husband and daughter, as they toured the office, so proud that this cute little girl came to vist us her.

What is WRONG with me?!

I think I’m a glutton for punishment, really. I do not need a child.

Observe the following way more important facts:

  • The boyfriend can attest to the fact that at least 4 times a day, I will lose my phone in my purse. Oh yes, I know it’s in there, but I can’t find it because my purse is too flipping big. And I’m a spaz. So I make him call me so I can look for the phone to light up. I’m kind of thinking it would be a bad thing if I lost a baby in my purse.
  • Even more often than I lose my phone (in my purse), I misplace my keys. This event requires everyone to stop what they are doing RIGHT NOW and participate in Stephanie’s Key-Finding Scavenger Hunt. Oh yeah, and half the time, the keys are in my purse, hanging out with my phone. Imagine if I had bottles and binkies and diapers to manage. It would be a disaster.
  • This is my typical schedule: 6:45 a.m. wake up, 8 a.m. go to work, noon lunch, 5:30 p.m. happy hour, 8 p.m. dinner and wine,  11-11:30 sleepy time. Find me a mom with this easy of a schedule. I double dog dare you. You will, however, probably get knocked out for suggesting it is even a possibility. 
  • I just took Gertie to get her annual vaccinations — oh about six months later than I should have. (I’ve been busy, ok? And it’s not like I have a lot of rabid animals running around my apartment.) You probably shouldn’t do that with a kiddo, huh?
  • I’m a HUGE hypocondriac. Every day, I can find something on Web M.D. that I am certain I have come down with. Polyps – check. Cancer-check, Brain tumor- check. I don’t know if I could oversee both  my list of disseases and my child’s.
  • I’m out of space for additional items in my bedroom and I don’t think Roomie has any room left either, although I haven’t broached the subject with her…
  • My car always has a bunch of junk in it. (ha ha, I have junk in my trunk.) No room for a car seat. (Although, I did find out by default last weekend that my child locks work just fine. And by default I mean, when I got locked in because I gave up the passenger seat to G-Man and the boyfriend was driving.)
  • Speaking of driving, I’m a horrible driver. I would never put a kid in the car with me.  That would be problematic.
  • And, I have the dreadful feeling that Gertie would LOVE diapers. I’m just saying…
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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Babies, babies everywhere

  1. Ok so I hate to point it out to you but once you have a child:
    -You will no longer be able to find your keys or your phone anyways. Probably because you have given them to your child for the point of amusements. They have most likely dropped them on the floor. At least at home, I can call my cell phone to find out where my children have dropped it.
    -Atleast you have a big purse already. Only thing will change will be that you dig through baby stuff to find the few remaining mommy items in your purse.
    -The few remaining mommy items will be keys, phone, money, debit card, and lip gloss. Thats all you get.
    -Your day will remain pretty much the same except happy hour is a smiling squishy face pressed up against the door when you get home.
    -Don’t worry about doctor’s appt. Most states and your insurance company will send you a reminder for the well baby checkup. Or your daycare will reminder you a number of times that jr. needs his vaccines or they won’t let him in.
    -Every new mom is a HUGE hypocondriac.
    -Suddenly you will find room for your bundle of joy. I didn’t think we had any room before children, after child #1, and I still don’t after child #2.
    -Its a good reason to clean out your car. Just to replace it with baby’s junk. FYI…do a good job because the only time you will clean out your car after baby is when something smells really bad and you need to find where the stench is coming from.
    -You will suddenly obey all traffic law. Except when your bending over the back seat to retrieve the sippy cup jr dropped and is screaming about all while driving 40 mph.
    -Oh yeah and it really sucks to pick up shreaded poopy diapers. I know. Its become instinct to close the bathroom door and put jr’s trash can on the dresser.

  2. I tip my hat (and it’s a cute pink knit one) to you, Stephanie and all the other mommies out there. How in the world do you even find time to blog?

  3. Jo Ellen Werking Weedman

    Have you seen lookydaddy.com?
    Check it out.

  4. Abigail

    Watch out – sounds like it’s in the water! (You do drink bottled, don’t you?!?)

  5. Oh, and the blogging thing for mommies – it’s a sanity saver. You get to have a little whine with your snot.

  6. Pingback: Signs of spring/summer « Queen of Quirky

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