Otherwise known as me v. my GPS.
I don’t normally drive with a GPS in my car unless I’m on the road. At that point, it is necessary for Bad Betty to accompany me on my adventures. But she’s very demanding, this Betty. And she likes to watch me squirm.
On a side note, I think Betty would be a good candidate for therapy due to her codependency.
See, Betty and I are in a bit of an abusive relationship because she loves it when I direct words at her that would merit a PG-13 or even R rating.
Her favorite is when I’ve made what she perceives as a wrong turn. She then screams at me that she must recalculate my route, which I take to be a passive aggressive version of “you screw up. I must now fix your mistake.”
Her second favorite activity is to point me in the right direction only to waive this black and white checkered flag at what she believes is my destination and tell me that I”m arriving at said destination on the right. Only, there is nothing at all on my right. Just a big field or an open parking lot. She then likes to watch me drive around in circles while I try to figure out how to materialize a building (hopefully a building containing a customer!) out of the space she has identified as “destination.” Meanwhile, she continues to show me what an idiot I am by displaying a virtual replay of my car driving around in circles in never never land looking for said destination.
Betty apparently likes taking me directly through school zones at 3:30 in the afternoon. (Is she trying to tell me something? Because my biological clock is working just fine, Betty!)
But I shouldn’t really complain about BB. She’s great when it comes to finding a cup o’ Joe in a pinch or locating a Subway in between customer visits.
I start to feel really needy when I try to take my rental car out to dinner without Betty. Is it needy or is it guilty? I don’t know. All I know is I made four wrong turns tonight after dinner and it felt all wrong without Betty’s direction and recalculations. Not to mention that the gas station attendee was no help at all, and Betty would have at least thrown up a flag in the general direction…