Anger Dreams – An insight into my sick, twisted mind

I tend to deal with my anger in my dreams. I’ve had some doozies.

There was the one where I beat a former colleague with a conference room chair.

 I’ve said things I’d never say in real life to people who exist in real life.

And I’m not going to lie. I’ve dealt with my divorce in my dreams. Despite the fact that it’s long over,  I know a part of me is still furious about what happened.

That’s not to say I want him back, or my life. I’m just angry that the entire thing from start to finish even existed.

So last night my dream* somehow involved my ex’s family and my family all in the same room. Of course, the girl he cheated on me with was there. (I’m not going to go into detail to protect the non-innocent.) And for whatever reason, he goes up to this microphone to start singing a rock song wearing these heinous sunglasses. (He doesn’t sing in real life, but whatever. It’s a dream.) 
And the crowd gets on their feet.

And by crowd, I mean my family – extended family too. And by feet, I mean the picnic tables we were sitting at.

They start screaming a chant.

And by chant, I mean, “we hate “X”.” “Down with X.” They were cursing and screaming, and I didn’t have to do anything. (My Aunt Nancy was leading the riot, by the way…)

And I sat there, all warm and f uzzy. I’m not sure why my cousins were holding  paper-made guitars or why this awful twisted rock concert existed in the first place, but when I woke up, it felt good to have shed some of that anger.

So to my readers going through a divorce, I just thought I’d share this to say that it’s ok to be angry, even 9 months down the road. I’m not afraid to admit that I still deal with my divorce, despite my stellar new life. I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t. It’s kind of nice that it’s happening less and less in my waking life, but if there are emotions that need to get out, I’m a firm believer in acknowledging those emotions and letting them free.

Fly little dream. Fl y away.

No ex-husbands were actually cursed at or harmed in the making of this dream.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Anger Dreams – An insight into my sick, twisted mind

  1. dg

    Heh. That Nancy’s a loose cannon…

  2. “the girl he cheated on me with…”

    ouch.

    I didn’t know.

    ouch.

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