I’m not even going to begin to tell you all of it, but let’s just say I had to visit Ernie today and it was not pretty.
And then there was some other stuff that sucked.
So I went for a run, which I made myself do, because I really just wanted to skip the run and jump straight into the bubble bath with the bottle, I mean glass, of wine. But I ran, and I wasn’t feeling like it, but I did it. As I was trotting along, Gertie at my side, I felt an odd sensation around my waist. It confused me, until I realized what it was.
It was my shorts.
They were well below my butt by the time I realized my drawstring had completely failed me. As in malfunctioned. As in it was completely broken. (It has a plastic device that is supposed to lock the string into place, but that piece apparently is shot because it stopped locking and started sliding.)
And there was a runner behind me.
And apparently a biker too, because it went flying by and suddenly Gertie jumped in front of me, which she does when she’s terrified.
Then I tripped over her, while trying to hold onto my shorts. And her. And not fall.
To top off this fabulous day, I learned, according to a friend’s facebook status that Jesus is returning soon. (I went to an Christian college, so many of my friends are conservative.)
If I could have my say in this matter, I would really rather Jesus return on Friday night when I have had a good day and we can have a beer together and laugh about this awful Monday.