I thought my debit card was missing. At first I was really super chill about it because I remembered taking it out of my wallet to run an errand. I changed my mind about that errand and thought I put it back. Later that day when I went to grab some pizza (PIZZA!!! Yum.), I realized it wasn’t there. No biggie. I used another card. (Yes, mom, I put a slice of pizza on credit, but I had no other option at that point.) I figured I had just set it down by my purse and not put it back in my wallet.
I calmly returned home and it wasn’t there. Ok, well maybe it’s in my car. Nope, not in my car. Ok, well, maybe it’s in my purse loose. Nope, not in my purse. Well, maybe I dropped it and Gertie picked it up and took it somewhere in the apartment. I looked under the bed, couches, closet, the trash (maybe I threw it away?), the dirty clothes (maybe I wanted to wash it?) –nope, not anywhere in the apartment.
Ok, panic time. Cancelling card. Stat.
This morning, I called to order a new card and make sure nothing strange had posted over the weekend. And literally, as I’m on the phone with the bank representative, I opened up my wallet to tell her my bank account number and out falls my card. It was behind my checkbook.
And it’s too late to cancel my cancellation. So now I have no card for 10 business days.
I’m a huge fan of this trilogy. And sometimes, I think about what it would be like to travel back in time and freak yourself out with your future self. (Hi, Dorks McGee, much?)
My past self would probably faint if she knew where life was going to take her. This was an epiphany I reached last night as I was sitting on a couch surrounded by all new friends, completely happy. And I was thinking that if my life hadn’t changed so much, I never would be here, never would have met them, never would have experienced this moment of happiness.
Regardless of all the pain and hardship there is a little bit of thrill in the idea that my past self had no idea what was about to transpire in her world. You just never know the curve balls life is going to throw at you. And that’s why it’s onward bound for me… (And future, future self, please don’t come knocking at my door anytime soon because my current life is baffling me enough. I get it. I don’t need any previews. I’ll roll with it, whatever it is. Past self, you have no idea… but you’ll be more than ok.)
This morning there was a downpour. I took Gertie down to do her business, but it was raining so hard, I thought I’d stop by my car first and grab my umbrella.
Because as soon as I opened up the car door to grab my umbrella, Gertie thought it was time to go for a ride.
And she didn’t want to leave the car.
So I’m standing outside the car in the POURING rain, pulling on her leash trying to coax her out of the car while she’s having none of it.
Well of course she’s all dry and cozy as a bug while I’m getting DRENCHED! By the time I got her out and my umbrella up, I was soaked. I had to do my hair again and blow dry my clothes.
I love that stupid dog.
That’s how the house guest met his (her?) fate. Thanks to some intense bravery on the part of the Red Head, I no longer have a spider. Also, thanks to the kind folks at TIGI who make some strong holding (and smelling) hairspray. And I’m sure Amanda Peet (cover of June Lucky) never knew she would come in so handy.
Oh and it was me who was shrieking, even though I was about 20 feet away and hiding my face…
So I knew it would happen. It was inevitable. It is one of the rights of passage of a divorce that goes right along with moving out, signing icky legal documents, sleeping in your bed alone etc….
The first spider.
And it’s a doozy.
Drying my hair this morning, I look up and see a spider so large I think it has its own shadow. And it’s high up toward the ceiling. Great. Maybe it will just wander it’s way out the window.
But if not, it could get in my bed….
So this is bad, I think. I’m just going to go to work now… (First stage of grief is denial.)
At lunch, I returned home and it was still there. Larger than life. Mocking me.
I consulted with my mom.
Mom: Well, you just have to kill it. I had to kill some big spiders in England.
Me: Maybe I could call hot neighbor and have him kill it.
Mom: No. That is pathetic. Don’t go to that level.
Me: It’s not even like that. It is just about the spider.
Mom: Still pathetic.
Not the motherly advice I was seeking.
I went around and tried to get some advice from co-workers. One co-worker said, “suck it up.”
Well now that was harsh.
No, she meant literally, “suck it up” with the vacuum.
Hmmmm…something to consider.
To be continued….
Welcome to the blogosphere, Mom!!
This would also be a good time to thank both of my parents for being so supportive.
Enter our latest dating contestant -#3. He’s young (at least he was born in the 70’s.), smart, a self-described nerd, adorable (Can you use that word for a guy? I did. So there), and has the most amazing brown eyes…oh, and he is a red head. Gotta love that. But here’s the deal. I’m all new at this. No, obviously, I’m not. But I am.
Here’s what I mean. See, the red head is the first guy I’ve dated that has found my facebook which took him to my blog and allows him to read my tweets. And this is new territory. Because before we had even so much as met face to face, the guy knew so much about me. This begs the question, should I remove the blog from my FB account? This can be debated later.
But with the texting, facebook stalking and googling that now happens pre first date, are we becoming smarter, savvier daters? About two hours into this date, I’m thinking it’s like our fifth or something and not because I am bored, uninterested (hardly!) or otherwise. Simply because there was all this research that went into this guy before I even met him. And likewise on his end. So we skipped the get-to-know you small talk and were able to have a much more meaningful experience.
P.S. He so just texted me. eek! I’m such a girl!
P.S.S. I also know he is so reading this blog.
P.S.S.S. So don’t hold anything against me. This is, after all, my little world. But I’m glad to have you as a reader for now. Just know that anything you say or do can be documented here at Onward Bound. Oh, and thanks for the amazing date. Even if you totally blew my cover with Hot Neighbor by kissing me good-bye in front of him. Oh well, totally worth it! See you tonight?